Wednesday, January 19, 2011

All Black Men are Dogs... Says the Woman Searching at the Dog Pound

If you haven't heard a black woman say, "All these brothers out here are dogs," (or some variation) then you have certainly been living under a rock! We've heard the reverse about black women too.

The real question that should be asked is, where have you been searching for all the no good brothers and sistas? We are so quick to blame the other person when we find out the person we were interested in is less than compatible, that we fail to look at ourselves.

Let's look at this simple analogy. You see a person shopping at the local grocery store. After going up and down isle 5 they are getting upset, after a few more minutes of going up and down isle 5 they become furious. They burst out, "This stupid store never has what I need! All I want are some steaks and they don't even have that!" After they make that outburst, you look up and see that isle 5's sign reads "Spices and Baking Needs."

Any rational person would look at the above person and think, "What do you expect when you're searching down the wrong isle?" No rational person would actually think that it is the grocery store's fault, so why is it in relationships, when we date the same type of people over and over, it's the other person's fault?

This is what I want you to do. Sit down and make a list. Make a list of all the people you have dated or liked. Ask yourself, what attracted you to them, what do they have in common, what didn't you like, and what do you want in a partner. Exploring these things will help you uncover why you may be going up and down the wrong dating isle and bring you closer to love.